Do What scares you

I have lived with daily, irrational fears for decades. At certain points, they were so intense that they were crippling. I’m sharing this  because I don’t want anyone who struggles like this to feel alone.

I also want you to know: many of my fears were not real. They were not happening in the present. They were echoes from the past.

What was I afraid of?

I was afraid to open my mail.

I was afraid to pay my bills even when I had the money to pay them.

I was afraid to do my dirty dishes or pick up the pile of clothes on the floor.

I was afraid to respond to a text or email.

 I was afraid to go to bed at night.

And I was deeply afraid that people were mad at me or would suddenly ghost me.

What did I do about my fears?

For a very long time, I avoided everything that triggered them. I numbed out or disconnected in order to get through the day.

Why did I avoid these things?

Because in the past, when I was paying my billing, my hands would shake so badly I couldn’t type. That embarrassed me. I didn’t want to feel that way again. Someone once made fun of me of my messy room, and I never forgot it. If I misplaced my keys or lost my driver’s license, I would spiral into shame, berating myself over and over.  

What helped me heal?

I tried many things. But what really shifted everything was this: I started facing my fear instead of avoiding it. I worked through my triggers with EMDR. Each one was tied to a past experience I hadn’t fully processed or felt. As I healed those old wounds, things changed. I started sleeping better. I opened my mail. I did my laundry. I paid my bills on time. I responded to people faster. I spoke my truth, even when it upset others. And the people who loved me appreciated my honesty.  

Eventually, I came to see that my fears were never the enemy. They were clues. Once I brought compassion to what I had been through, the fears began to fade.

What about you?

If you’re living with fear, I want you to know: your fears are not flaws. They are invaluable clues. They are places inside of you that need care.

What if, instead of avoiding them, you turned toward them?

What if fear isn’t a problem to fix, but a doorway into a better life?